Scammers don't like Cheques...

In this bait I learn that scammers don't like cheques...

Dear Brother Juan Boll

Contact John David @ john_David1and2@yahoo.co.uk i have informed him already and kept the cheque to him to send to you, i knew he will be expecting to hear from you,go ahead and contact him immediately he will send it to you and as soon as you received the cheque try to get back to me OK.you tried for me then and God is great after every thing God made impossible to be possible
have a nice day
Kenneth Elemuo

Hello John David.
As you can see by the e-mail below, Mr Kenneth told me to contact you. My name is Brother Juan Boll, and I run a mission for orphans here in New York City. I look forward to working with you to help the children.
Brother Juan Boll

Dear Sir,

I got your mail which i have been waiting,my master kept your cheque with me here that i should send to you i wait to hear from you and have your informations where i can send it ,coupled with instruction my master gave to me, that i should wait when you contact me before i should send the cheque,so please advice me,should i send it through courrier service or should i trasfer it through bank to your bank account?

please make your choice if you need it through bank transfer,you have to send me your bank informations as to enable me remitt it to your bank account or you like it by courrier service then you have to send me your house address where i can send it to and your telephone number.
Thanks
Await hearing from you
John David

I like how he says "my master". What, is this guy working for Dracula or something?!?

I am glad to hear that you will be donating money to the orphanage. The children will be most pleased. Please send the money ASAP, the children need new clothes soon.
Brother Juan Boll

Dear Sir,
Please give me your address where i will send the cheque to you, infact how do you like me to send this to you,get back to me i have other things at hand doing.
John David:

You can send the check to my Church's Head Office. God Bless You.
Order of the Protoss
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C.
USA
Brother Juan Boll

That address is the FBI Headquarters. I am sure they would be happy to 'help' him.

Dear Sir,
went to courier office today to send this stuff to you when i received your mail with your address but the people i met there in courier office were requestig the sum of $250usd,so it was unfortunate i couldn't send it as my master did not left any money for me to send this to you,so please do not be offended i don't have the $250 to pay for corrier office and i did not even know that sending this to you will cost this kind of money i could informed my master before he left.
So before i can send it to you,you have to provid the $250usd that was required by courrier office as to enable me send it to you..
As you will be sending the money please send it through western union money transfer,with bellow informations
1, Reciver Name Kenneth Elemuo because i will use the Name identity of my master to take the money from the western union.
2,control number
3,question and answer
4,country Togo
I will be expecting your urgent response,so that i can send so that I cn send this to ou tday.
Thanks

And now we get to the classic asking for money for shipping bit. He sure as hell isn't getting a penny out of me. But I will waste his time...

Do you have another way of sending it that would be less costly?
Brother Juan Boll

Dear Sir,
I was moving around and found that DHL are taking the sum of $175 but as for me i will appreciate sending this by courrier service, do to i have been using courrier service and i like their service,so make your choice.and send the charge with the bellow informations.

,1 Reciver Name Kenneth Elemuo because i will use the Name identity of my master to take the money from the western union.
2,control number
3,question and answer
4,country Togo
Thanks
John David

How do you want the payment sent?
Brother Juan Boll

Dear Sir,
You have to send the money through western union money transfer with the bellow informations
1, Reciver Name Kenneth Elemuo then you send to me all the payment informations,as to enable me pick it up in the western union.
Thanks
John David

I shall make the payment soon. God Bless
Brother Jaun Boll

Dear Sir,
As soon as you send the money please send me your tel phone number is very necessary,so that the Agent can contact you when arrived over there with the passel,because i will send the passel with your house address and also give Agents your tele phone to link you, immediatly they arrived.
Thanks
Have a nice day
John David

Unfortunatly, due to a terrible accident involving several Tribbles when I was young I lost most of my hearing and cannot use the phone. I sent a check in the mail today for you.

Spelling cheque as 'check' only helps to confuse him...

Dear Sir,
Please i do not undersatnd what you are saying,by saying that you sent a check for me,have you make the payment? give me the control number and other payment informations.
Await hearing from you.
John David:

I sent you a check for the payment. Hopefully you will get it soon.
Brother Juan Boll

Dear Sir,
I am not still understand what you are saying,do you sent the money by what means? is it by xestern union or what?if you have sent it by western union the send me the control number and payment information,how do you sent the money?YOU CAN NOT SEND MONEY WITH OUT INFORMATIONS AND I CAN NOT TAKE MONEY FROM WESTERN UNION WITH OUT THE SENDER INFORMATIONS,I,control number, 2,sender name ,3, receiver name 4question and answer, 5, country Togo all these informations must be involved before i can take the money from the western union ok,you have to go back where you sent the money and send it currect, i hope you can now understand?
bye for now
John David

He is really getting confused. Hooray!

I sent a cheque in the mail to you.

Dear Sir,
Please i do not understand,how can you send cheque in the mail for me?where i told you to send me the money through western union,look if you wants to send me the money send it through western union ok,i can't understand what you are saying.

To be honest, I'm not sure he knows what a cheque is...

I sent the cheque through the post office. That is how. The money is on it's way to you.

Please let me know when you get the cheque.
Brother Juan Boll

Dear Sir,
i can not get the money if you want to send money to me follow my advice send the money by western union,if you can not send it by western union that means i can not do any thing.

Geez, this guy is dumb!

You don't understand. I sent you a cheque in the mail. All you have to do is open the envelope, take the cheque out and deposit it at the bank. I don't understand why you can't understand that. Please write back.

Sadly I never heard back from this moron. Oh well.

A short, but funny bait...

This is another of my first baits. It's rather short, but entertaining nonetheless.

CALVARY GREETINGS,MY NAME IS MRS.JESSICA HERBERT, I AND MY HUSBAND ARE ON A CHRISTAINMISSION TO AFRICA AND I CAME ALONG WITH MY PUPPY (YORKIE). AFTER A WHILE INOTICED THAT THE AFRICAN WEATHER IS NOT GOOD FOR THE PUPPY AND I HAVE NOTBEEN ABLE TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER THE WAY I ALWAYS DO BECAUSE OF MY JOB.

I NEED SOMEONE TO ADOPT HER AND TAKE CARE OF HER THEWAY I ALWAYS DO. IF YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF HER DO SEND A REPLY AND I WILLEMAIL YOU HER PICTURES. I HOPE TO READ FROM YOU.

REGARDS,
MRS.JESSICA HERBERT.

I would love to have your puppy. Please e-mail me the pictures.
Chuck Norris

I was then sent these pictures. Cute little bugger. I'm sure these pics were jsut cut and pasted from a google image search...

She look perfect. What is your reccomended cooking time?
Chuck Norris

Ok thanks, i will like you to contact the shipping agent so he can inform you on the shipping details. I cook by 7.30 Am and reserve lunch for my pet and cook another by dinner.

Wow, I don't know if I could eat 3 dogs in one day. How long and how hot do you cook a dog of this size for?

I was really looking forward to the scammer's reply, but sadly I never heard back. Oh well, I had a bit of fun...